Thursday, February 25, 2010

Barbies

I was 3 when I got them-
A gift from my uncle.
The whole set, wow....
Unheard of generosity.
I remember playing with them for hours.

You in the background...
Telling him he shouldn't have
Really, he shouldn't have...
I wasn't worth it.

Later I got others-
After saving my allowance
Fifty cents at a time.
Tutti, Buffy, Suntan Barbie and Ken.
Time alone to play and dream. Blessed quiet.

You took them one day
And bent their legs sideways
Breaking the tiny wires.
"Here's what rickets look like.
You'll get that too if you don't eat right."

And still for some reason I have saved them.
All the dresses, the shoes, the mini toaster and toasts.
The pieces of imagination and creative escape.
Bent legs, messed up hair,
Ears green from sticking straight pins into the lobes.

Why can't I let them go?
There is pain when I see them.
Pain from You-
Ouch. I still feel it....ouch, ouch, ouch.

But there is a little girl with blonde short hair
Who sat on a front porch
Using toothpaste caps for Barbie cups.
Wondering what life could be.

Where is she?
Will she be all right
If I put these in a box
And let the truck take them away tomorrow??


Copyright 2010 Mary Skeen-all rights reserved

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Big Kitty

About 4 years ago on the Saturday after Thanksgiving, I looked outside and saw a big, gorgeous Maine Coon cat had knocked down my trash cans and had pulled out the turkey carcass for his dinner. I went outside to see if he was friendly and if I could help him. He ran from me. I put food and water out and he came back to eat. He was ravenous. Poor guy. We called him Big Kitty because of his size.

I saw him sporadically for the next few weeks, and tried to lure him near so that I could take him to a vet or to a shelter for help. He had obviously been outside for awhile and would not get anywhere near me. I called 7 different cat organizations in Baltimore to see what to do, and to get help for this gorgeous,homeless guy. Because he was on the scraggly side, perhaps with some skin issues, and was not what they deemed as "friendly" or "adoptable", they told me there was nothing they could/would do to help me. I even went so far as to tell them I would keep him, but no...The best offer I got was the lend of a trap to catch him myself. I was told I would need to bait the trap a certain way, and that I would need long leather gloves to handle it once he was caught in the trap. (Um...have you ever heard a feral cat who is screaming in a trap? I have. It is one of the worst sounds imaginable.) I told them about the raccoons and foxes in our neighborhood, and how I did not want to trap one of those instead. Again, no help. Oh, and I was told that Big Kitty could be injured by the door slamming down on the trap. His tail could be amputated by it, or his back or other body parts could be hurt. I was told that all vet expenses would be mine, and if I trapped a wild animal-again my problem. In short...no help.

Because I feared trapping a wild animal in the trap, I chose the path of interacting with him on the rare occasions that I saw him, once getting to actually pet his head. In my dreams I had hoped to one day reach down and just pick him up and take him somewhere for help. No dice. He lashed out at me a couple times, scratching and trying to bite, and that scared me enough not to want to get too close.

To this day, I look out for him. I feed him if I see him and he is hungry. I keep trying to get help for him. I have asked help from 12 different organizations-some of which I have given money to for years; one I have volunteered for. No help. Even more requests to the county and to people who work with ferals--no help. I feel awful for him.

This month two blizzards dumped about 45" of snow on us. I haven't seen Big Kitty for weeks. I wonder where he is and whether he is alive. He has been gone for months at a time before this, and has returned-nearly starving, but alive. I have set up shelter for him in our garage and on our side porch. He has chosen not to use it. This guy has his pride.

I wonder what kind of pig person had him for a kitten and just let him loose to fend for himself? I think I know who it is, but have no evidence, so once again can do nothing. I pray that one day I will be able to help him more than I have been able to. It saddens me that his life has been so hard. He is just a few steps away from help, warmth, and loving arms, but he will not step close enough.

May God bless you, Big Kitty. May God help me to help you. May He open up their hearts and hands to offer service to one of His own who needs it so very badly.