Must. Get. Control.

I must get control of life around here. Everywhere I look there is so much that needs to be done. Maybe I'll turn my back and go shopping instead? A trip to the LYS? Nah............gotta start slogging. Hopefully, by the end of the day there will be visible progress. Wish me luck!

Fragile

Feeling a little fragile these days. Now that the health scare is over, and the doctor has given me the "go ahead" and has lifted all restrictions, I remain incredibly nervous. I guess it is that old fear of mortality rearing its ugly head again. It is just like me to get through the crisis and then begin to fall apart at the seams. Happens every time. I feel like I'm dodging bullets.

So, I'm trying to harness the nervous energy into positive stuff--cleaning, knitting like a mad fool, counting my blessings. Deep breaths. It's ok.

What Were You Thinking??

Today was a scary one for me. At around noon, there was a tiny knock at my front door. I did not answer, because I did not know the person. It was a huge man with a rake over his shoulder, probably wanting yard work. But....no. He proceeded to look in my front and side windows, then headed for my backyard and garage. My son and I came downstairs, and by that time he had gone to the neighbor's to knock on their door. They didn't answer either, so he proceeded to make a long cell phone call to someone, and my son heard him mention "police." He then came back to the side of my house, sneaked toward my back door and knocked--very quietly--peering in the whole time. I called my neighbor, and then I called the police. He left quickly, and my neighbor followed him with his truck, pulled over 2 police officers, only to find out that one of them caught the guy. Who knows what he was up to? Seemed to me like he was looking for a place to rob. I shudder when I think what might have happened if my car weren't in the driveway, and my son and I weren't home. So, I have to go to bed now, not really knowing what happened to him. I'm hoping they arrested him for something and that we are safe. Think I'll be up until all hours doing laundry and cleaning. Nervous energy....

Someone Flipped A Switch

Someone flipped a switch and somehow I feel so much better! Finally, the pain has eased and only a little stiffness remains. What a blessing it is to be pain free!

I just finished sending off 9 RAKs to some folks in the RAK groups. All but two are surprises. What fun it is! I hope they bring a little joy...

Kitties are pestering for attention. Time to go! Happy New Year!

Turtle on Its Back

I'm still feeling like a turtle on its back-constantly trying to right itself! Getting up out of bed, off the couch, and in and out of the car is still a feat. Trying hard to find the humor in it! :-)

Staying Positive

I am sick to death of negativity in people, and I am trying hard to rid myself of it. Not an easy task. I guess the easiest way to keep most of it out is to stay away--far away--from people with consistently negative attitudes. The hardest part is keeping it from rearing its ugly head in my own brain.

Growing up, I was bombarded with negativity (That's putting it nicely!), and it has taken years to work through its horrible effects. If I could only reach back and tell the child I was that none of it was true! I could cry about what she went through. When I see pictures of myself as a child, I want to tell her that she was beautiful just the way she was, that she was creative and smart, that she was kind and compassionate, that she was special. At least I know it now.

There is a line in a song that I love that claims that when our children are born, they are born into "wiser lives" because of us. I hope my children know how special they are to me and to the world--that the world became more beautiful the very moment they arrived. If that is true, then something positive has come from my experiences.

I hope that in 2009, when life hands me tough spots and tough people, that I can rise above them all and see the gifts that come as result. I hope that I can steer clear of negative thoughts about myself and others, and just keep forging ahead--staying positive--looking for the beauty and the goodness that I am graciously offered.

Time for the New Year

I am ready for new beginnings. I am hoping that 2009 is much better than 2008! I have been thinking of goals to achieve in 2009. Wonder how many I'll actually achieve? I wonder what life will throw in my way this year? Things I'd like to do:

Use up a lot of my stash and spend less on yarn. (I'm thinking this one will be the hardest.)

Pursue more friendships--in person and online.

Be a better money saver.

Bring the house up to par in terms of repairs.

Get both sons driving!

Design more of my own knitting patterns.

Make a website for my knitting business that supports online payments.

Keep a cleaner, more organized house.

Get rid of unwanted clutter throughout the house.

Lose 25 to 30 more pounds, and stay healthy!