Friday, September 11, 2009

Today is the Day for Cashmere

Upstairs in my stash, I have 4 balls of cashmere, two are matching beautiful taupes and browns, one is a pink and one is blue. I have been waiting to use them, wondering what they will become. Today is the day I am going to find out. One ball will become a set of fingerless gloves. Two others will be a scarf that I will try to sell at my craft shows. The other?? Not sure yet. What I do know is that my hands need to be spoiled...for hours.... Off to begin. I am relaxing already.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Perspective on life after 3 gin and seltzer drinks

Ahh. It has been a very stressful day/week, and I have ended it with 3 gin and seltzer drinks. Life seems a little less scary after 3 gin and seltzer drinks. It seems more relaxing, more hopeful somehow. I am not supposed to drink 3 gin and seltzer drinks--not even one. Too bad. Sometimes, you just gotta.

I am almost able to forget that today it is 14 years since my father died. My brother and mother visit his gravesite. Not me. It does not comfort me. It agitates me. It makes me incredibly sad. All I keep thinking about are his hands--how they created all kinds of beauty--art--how he hugged and held his grandchildren with them. Now they are just bones. No, not comforting. at. all. I miss him every single day. Not just on the death day. Every single day is hard. Not just the death day. Why do people put such emphasis on that one day?? I just don't get it. I wish he could see John and Dan. I wish he could hear Dan sing. I wish he were here to be a buffer between me and mother. I wish he could soften the blows. I wish for just one more bear hug, one more laugh, one more funny story, one more recitation of a story poem, one more Irish song, one more Dad breakfast, one more look of love and incredible joy when gazing upon his grandchildren, one more time seeing him looking out the window waiting for us to arrive-jumping out of his chair to run out the door to greet us all.

It has been a long week. The first week of school. Countless rehearsals for Dan. Lots of hours for John and John. Lots of cleaning, organizing, figuring out the stuff of life. I don't know if we ever can.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

If You Knew Me Well, You Would Know That...

If you knew me well, you would know that:

1. I love cats. I could have 100, if the vet bills weren't so darn high. (I have 7.)

2. My favorite candy is peanut M & M's, but I cannot eat them anymore due to pre-diabetes.

3. My favorite colors are pink, blue, and chocolate brown.

4. My favorite drinks are unsweetened iced tea, chardonnay, and gin and tonic.

5. My favorite flowers are pink carnations.

6. I have been married since 1982. I was 22 when I got married.

7. I graduated Magna Cum Laude from Towson University in 1982 with degrees in English Literature and Secondary Education.

8. I taught high school English, grades 9 thru 12 for 8 years. I did graduate work in teaching reading. I was a literacy volunteer for many years.

9. My favorite food is spaghetti.

10. I absolutely adore my brother. He is an angel on earth; I am sure of it.

11. I love yard sales and thrift shops.

12. I collect Longaberger baskets.

13. I have been knitting since I was 8 years old. My dad taught me. Knitting keeps me sane.

14. I had a close relationship with my dad, not my mom. Our relationship is hard and sad.

15. I love poetry. My favorite poet is Sylvia Plath.

16. Some of my poetry was published when I was in college.

17. My great-grandmother taught in a one-room school house. I come from a long line of teachers.

18. I can speak German, sort of.

19. I love to play board games and cards. Monopoly and Scrabble are my favorites.

20. I am afraid of lightning and thunderstorms. I hate the rain.

21. My favorite seasons are fall and winter. I do not like summer.

22. I am a terrible housekeeper. Cleaning makes me grumpy.

23. I love my kids more than life itself.

24. I wanted to be a vet when I was growing up. I also wanted to be an author.

25. I don't really like dogs.

26. I miscarried my first pregnancy, and I still grieve that child.

27. I love kids, kids of all ages--especially toddlers and teenagers. (Really, they are almost the same!!)

28. I love to cook.

29. My favorite singer is James Taylor. I credit his music with getting me through a tough growing up. I also like Elton John, Billy Joel, John Denver, and Carly Simon.

30. My favorite yarns to knit with are: anything soft! handdyed yarns are great, sock yarn, alpaca, some cottons

31. My favorite things to knit are small projects-scarves, socks, mittens, hats, purses...Did I say socks??????????!!!!

32. I cannot stand people who lie to me.

33. I do not like seafood.

34. I don't think I have ever felt "pretty".

35. I need at least 8 to 9 hours of sleep a night, or I cannot function.

36. I worry about mental illness.

37. I cry at my son's performances. Every one. I also cry at weddings and when I see new babies.

38. I worry for my oldest son, that he will be self-sufficient and able to care for himself.

39. I love Italian food.

40. I think the most important quality in a person is compassion.

41. I hate to exercise.

42. I am often messy, and I like that better than being neat.

42. I don't like homes that look like furniture stores-like nobody lives there.

43. I love Christmas.

44. I love giving gifts. It makes me happy.

45. I wish I had my own arts and crafts studio.

46. I need a lot of quiet time.

47. When I don't hear from my friends, I get very sad.

48. I worry about getting old.

49. My favorite thing to wear is blue jeans. I would wear denim all the time, if I could.

50. I hope I get to be a grandma who gets to spoil her grandkids like crazy.