Waiting Up

Waiting up again. This time it will be until around 1 am. I'm waiting for hubby to return home from D.C. Been doing this for 19 years now--waiting and worrying, that is. Walking miles and miles in D.C. at night in order to get to Union Station --just so he can catch the last train out to Baltimore. Then it's into Penn Station at around 12:30 am. to walk deserted city streets late at night. I hate it. Tonight is worse, because he is tired and under a lot of stress--work stress, and stress from doing everything for the family with me being sick. Plus, one of his tires was flat last night. He pumped it up, and went on ahead. Let's hope it's got enough air to get him home. He tells me to rest up and sleep. I can't until he walks into the back door, eats a late dinner, and then heads up to bed. Let's hope angels are watching over him, and that he comes home to us safely. Can't imagine anything else.

Tomorrow night will be a hanky night. Son Dan has his choral concert and has a solo performance with that beautiful tenor voice. I always cry--happy tears. Somehow, he came through me.

Son John has been an amazing help throughout my illness and recovery. He has handled most of our meals for us, and does so with ease. What a blessing. 19 years old this week. Hard to imagine. He has walked through fire and has come out the other side unscathed--still kind and gentle, compassionate and grounded.

This weekend, when we put up our tree, I will give the boys their yearly ornaments, and we will reminisce as we unpack the old ones. We will talk about why each was important, what each means, and I will cry when I unpack Dad's boat. As a child, I always told my father that when I was older and had a job, I would buy him the Boston Whaler that he always wanted. Well, I could never afford it, so all he ever got was a wooden boat ornament that became mine when he died. I miss him terribly. I miss his love. I see it in my boys.

See what comes out when we wait?